“Gerascophobia”
Oil on canvas
60 x 100 cm
Gerascophobia: The abnormal and persistent fear of ageing or growing old.
Finished last summer, this was my first completely unrestricted painting after 7 large commissions. It is a self portrait showing decades of partying in the top three windows. As if one exists as the same person forever — until suddenly they don’t. The bottom left is a snapshot of my studio, quiet and pensive. The last window is my ambition to be an ornamental skull; whether or not the decorations happen, the skull is inevitable.
Window number 5, the last to be painted, depicts fear, a very old person trying to stretch a young mask over her face. It shows old age as a prison. I thought about trying to make a positive vision of my future. But instead, I used this as a way to exorcise my demon, to get this phobia out of my head, in order to move on to a better frame of mind. I have to say it worked.
This will be included in the exhibition Persona, at the Crypt Gallery, St Pancras Church, 2 Dukes Road, London, WC1H 9AB 24-29 April 2026. There are over 40 artists in the show, and the pv will be very limited, but there will be activities, performances and artists present over the entire week.
